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29 August, 2010 - Permission to Be Vulnerable |
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29 August, 2010 - Permission to Be Vulnerable Sorry, all....
My Newsletter is nearly a week overdue, reason being that life just got a little hectic on the home front.
Peter, my husband, has been struggling with the pain and discomfort of extensive dental surgery, performed on him two weeks ago, which hasn’t healed as it should have. My Mother was taken via ambulance to hospital, suffering a mild stroke, the night after I helped my step-daughter, Natasha, move into her new apartment. Because of a shortage of beds, I was with my Mother in emergency from 7pm until two o’clock the following morning . And just at a time when communication with family members needed to be running at its most efficient, their replies to my emails were bouncing back, left, right, and centre.
Add to all that my hot flushes and lack of sleep due to the onset of menopause, by Wednesday night I was having a mini-meltdown!
Have you ever felt like curling up into a ball on the floor and breaking into tears when hearing Barry Manilow’s rendition of “Mandy”? Did you ever find yourself ready to hurl a coffee mug through the window pane after your husband casually mentioned that you had lipstick smudged on your teeth, or because the kids were tired of tuna pasta 3 nights in a row? If you find yourself empathetically nodding, then you know what I’m talking about.
What compells us as human beings to take on the role of warrior, providing safety and support for loved ones, home and hearth, yet we continually forget, or not place importance on, nourishing ourselves?
Where is it written that committment and self-sacrifice are noble endeavours, along with bravery, strength and courage, while vulnerability remains a sign of weakness?
Many of us know how to be strong, yet don't have a clue how to be vulnerable. Perhaps for many of us, there may not have been the room for it in our childhood, thus encouraging and entrenching this pattern of behaviour in our psyches.
When we are happy and well nourished, our resilience is high. This places us in a better position to cope with tricky situations as we have the strength to protect our “core”. But when we are tired, and allow ourselves to be continually depleted without taking the time to nourish and re-charge the mind, body and spirit, we become moody, irritable, our immune system nose dives, exhaustion sets in, and inevitably, we experience "meltdown".
With Peter’s advise (“Vic, don’t be a hero. Running yourself to the ground is false economy.”) ringing in my ears, I turned my mobile off after a 10am meeting in my studio. I headed over to Bondi Beach where the fresh air did me wonders. I settled into a noodle bar on Campbell Parade and treated myself to lunch while I browsed over a gossip mag, after which I headed over to Bondi Junction for a foot massage and pedicure. It didn’t take much to get me back on track, just a little bit of “me” time.
I’m happy to report better news on the home front.... Peter’s gums are healing well. And while my Mother’s condition is far from ideal, she has stabilised and is now out of hospital. And while the news of my son, Justin’s, marriage proposal to his partner, Maryanne, has put a spring back into my step, a visit to my doctor this Saturday will see me returning home with some nature-based pastilles that will greatly reduce my debilitating symptoms of menopause, putting my sleep patterns back on track.
And more importantly, Peter and I fly out to the USA on Monday evening, where we will explore New Mexico, Arizona and California, via Hawaii.
Moral of the Story: As humans, we can’t always take the high road. Invariably, the machinery breaks down and we need “time out”. Giving ourselves the permission to be vulnerable means being kinder to ourselves and replenishing the batteries before an unpleasant and unnecessary core meltdown.
Victoria x
Victoria Ugarte is the Founder and Director of Postcards From Millie, a womens travel website. Based in Sydney, Australia, she draws inspiration from the courage of mind and spirit of her muse, Amelia “Millie” Earhart. Victoria spends 3 months out of every year traveling the world and writing about her adventure vacations on her website, keeping her readers posted on exciting destinations, itineraries, travel tips and resources, and challenging women to go beyond their current boundaries so that they may come home to themselves. Look Victoria up on http://www.postcardsfrommillie.com/
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Comments
Seems like you've had a bit of a topsy turvy few weeks.
But when you look back - the news is mostly good - just goes to show that we can be our own worst enemies when we try to have the world going our way, rather than letting everything evolve and unfold!
Often more easily said than done of course
Have a safe holiday and come back refreshed.
Cheers
Melody
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Don't know what was in the air or the water during August, but it turned out to be a S#@*T of a month. But as they say, this too will pass. In fact, I'm already seeing light at the end of the tunnel.
All the best!!
Victoria x
Had a mini melt myself this week. Ah, time to rest!
Travel safe and rejuvenate lovely lady.
Luv
H
Victoria x
Let me share my attempt on "nuclear meltdown prevention". A couple of weeks ago, I was walking home...so exhausted, wondering, why I had no time for myself, while I always had time for others. So I got fed up and entered, as I was walking, an appointment with myself into my iPhone calendar. Day: Wednesday. Repetition: Weekly. Start time: 5pm. End time: 11pm. Reminders: 1st reminder - one day before. 2nd reminder 2 hours before start.
Every Tuesday a reminder pops up on my iPhone, saying "Tomorrow is Leni time":-) and I am so excited as if I was about to meet my favorite pop star the next day:-). When on Wednesdays afternoon a colleague at work asks me what is your plan for tonight...I just say...."Ah well...I am just seeing a really good friend for a pamper session":-)
It feels AWESOME:-)
From now on when someone tries to get into my diary on Wednesdays...I look into my calender and with a puppy eyes sadness, I say "...I am soooo sorry, I just see I already have something on! " Or "...Oh, I am already seeing a friend I haven't seen her in ages (so true)...sorry I cannot cancel this one":-).
My love to you, your hormonal balance, Tash's belly, and Peters gums!
Lenka xxx
www.createyourspace.com.au
Ladies of the world, take note! This Czech girl knows where it's at!!
Well done, lenka. I love your strategy.
Victoria xx